Getting Engaged? Proposal 101 for Men and Women
Yes is just 4 words away!
It’s Proposal Season! The frosty air is heavy with the anxiety of the soon-to-be betrothed. I can feel it. As a sister of a very eligible bachelor, I was recently nagging my brother on how he was finally going to pop the question to his beloved girlfriend. He very serenely told me, he isn’t: She wants to propose. My first reaction was, "Right on, girl!". She knows what she wants and how to communicate it. But no matter your gender, proposing can be taxing and complicated.
Let me toss out a few stepping stones to make navigating the path simpler.
The Ring
For you grooms, choosing THE RING can feel like you are rowing a holey canoe in a hurricane without any oars. Don’t worry; I won’t let you sink. You are fighting the battle of trying to find a perfect example of your love and devotion while knowing her exact style and the fairytale ring of her dreams. Here a few tricks to keep the boat afloat:
• Bring a few pieces of her favorite jewelry with you to the jewelers. It gives a sense of her taste and, if you grab a ring, her ring size. If you can’t take a ring with you, gently push one into a bar of soap (Go Super Secret Spy). This is a great way to compare for ring sizing. Just remember to rinse the ring before putting it back.
• Snap a few pictures of her in some of her favorite outfits. It will help you answer the jeweler's questions of whether she is fashion forward, more classic, vintage or modern. In this case, a picture really is worth a thousand words.
• Traditional vs. non-traditional can also be confusing. A diamond isn't necessarily your only option. Many brides now prefer a colored gemstone, be it a birthstone or just a color that best sets off her skin tone and hair color, as the centerpiece of her setting. Which brings me to -
• Enlist some help. Every girl has someone that will thrive on helping you make her the happiest woman in the world. Friends will help you with the cut and color questions.
• Lastly, don’t go crazy over the 4 C’s! (Cut, Clarity, Color and Carat) These are your dollars, stick to the budget. You will get the bling for your buck.
Ladies Popping the Question
Ladies out there hoping to pop the question to your potential grooms, you are not alone. More women are stepping up to the plate and feeling the pressure to make that perfect proposal. To ring or not to ring is not your only question. Though many do propose with a ring (And ladies, don't feel awkward looking for an engagement ring. Many jewelers carry men's engagement rings.), not all women go for the bling.
Ladies are opting for an "engagement gesture" with their proposal. Consider a memento that signifies his style and his importance to you. In one woman's personal account of her proposal, she decided to gift a multi-tool to her groom to express his handiness and many roles to her. She also had a jeweler put a wing on the handle (because she put a "wing" on it!) TOO CUTE! You can get creative: a watch to represent your time together (past, present and future); a key (to your heart or to symbolize that he is your home). Make it about him and who he is as the man in your life. The best part? There are no rules! You are only bound by your love and devotion, so have fun with it.
Now that you have the what and who, lastly, the where and how.
Location, location, location isn't just for real estate. The proposal is an memory that lasts a lifetime. It becomes a piece of your history, a story of the couple you have become, your love and future. Epic or intimate, make it personal. It can be where you first kiss, or where you met. It can be at baseball game of the team you both love or her favorite pizza place, but about you is key.
So many people will love to help out with this, just ask. If you love to go to the theatre together, ask the stage manager at a show if you can propose there. Disney fans, just ask a cast member, they love to make magic. Snowy cabins with cozy fires for the winter lovers. A stick and the beach is pretty low tech and super romantic. On a flight, or at dinner. Write it on a plate, put the ring in an ornament, sing her a song, just Go For It. Yes! is just 4 words away.