Day 11: The Art of Making it Through Your Wedding Day
Your girls always have your back—and so do we. Photo by Veronica Varos
Seam Rips? Crazy Relatives? We got you covered.
All things worth doing will have their challenges, including weddings. Being prepared for reasonable mishaps is an easy way to move past the small things that can go wrong on your special day (but it’s not always small things, right?). Let’s dive into some predictable hazards and the best ways to avoid a crisis so you can make the most of your wedding.
Wardrobe Malfunctions: A little knowledge and a sewing kit with safety pins go a long way. Every wedding I have been part of has had a wardrobe malfunction. I had a bride’s bustle rip right before the couple made their entrance into the reception, a groomsman whose jacket was way too big, and a bridesmaid’s dress that was definitely not going to fit. I would also like to point out that while I am not a seamstress, I always keep an emergency kit with safety pins, needle and thread (in white, black and the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses) and fabric tape to uncomplicate any thready situation.
Pro Tip: Add Advil, Motrin, tampons, Band-aids, extra pens, double sided tape and snacks in that emergency kit. You will use them all.
Keys: Someone is going to be locked out of something. A car, a venue, the church vestibule (that was my own wedding) or even the bathroom. A future husband locked the keys to the car with all the champagne and celebratory refreshments in said car. I would say that this an easily avoidable occurrence, but it’s not. Keys are everywhere and no one is wearing their regular pants. My best idea is to assign a key master--a designated spare key holder--to things like the departure vehicle, the honeymoon suite and the dressing rooms. Venues are not going to give you keys but have a back-up to those you do hold to save you a lot of chaos.
Death is in the Details: Not sweating the small stuff will bring you JOY. This is your wedding and I know that you need everything that you have planned to go just as you have planned it. I want that for you too. So does everyone around you. That being said, the wrong flower arrangement on the table with the guestbook is not worth losing your joy. Seating chart gone awry, wrong napkin holders, traffic; they will not steal your joy. You are getting married to the person who makes your world complete, who believes you are strong, capable, and beautiful and makes you believe it too. That joy cannot be stolen, even by details gone wrong.
Family Drama: Alright, I know there are those whose family are loving, supportive and will do anything to make you happy. I love them with you. For those of us whose families love to make a little bit drama, a wedding always seems like the perfect place to unpack some emotional baggage. Stand tall, stand firm and love. Yours are not the only emotions set to full and sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to make someone happy. Do not change the focus of your day to one or two sour moments. The anger directed at “Who is sitting at what table?” or “Why is this person here?” is not about you or the wedding anyway. Knowing that certain things are out of your control and being able to let that go is the hardest part of the day. You want everyone at your wedding to be as happy as you are. Unfortunately, some people just weren’t happy before the wedding. Try not to take their negativity personally.
To Go Pro or Not: Ultimately, the choice of a professional coordinator is between you and your budget. I have known incredible managers and designers who have coordinated their own weddings. They are amazing and I wish I could be them. I will say, with a great coordinator, you won’t even know what things didn’t go according to plan. They can stretch out a string quartet to cover the fact the groom is late because his keys are in the car with the champagne, redirect the schedule to accommodate traffic or rearrange table assignments on the fly to avoid drama. They live to make a symphony out of mix-matched musicians, and they can make some beautiful music.
Your wedding will be amazing, whether it’s exactly what you wanted it to be or if nothing goes right. The biggest thing to remember is that at the end of the day, no matter what, you are still married. Married and living in-love every day.